Fast Forward Marriage

Rhoda: Are you married?”
Rhoda: Are you educated?”
Rhoda: Why do you have earrings?”
Rhoda: Are you Christian?”
Rhoda: What is your phone number?”
Rhoda: I want you to meet my friend. She is a nurse. She is very slim and tall.”

Such were the questions I had to answer from a nurse in a downtown Kumasi clinic while I was waiting for my malaria struck friend to digest his fufu (plaintain and yam) lunch. Suffice to say that chat up lines are a little different to home. The question-poser tends to go straight for the jugular vein. Ghanaians don't see the point of beating round the bush. If you're on the market, then you are a viable candidate for marriage - whether it is for themselves, their cousins or friends.

When I didn't give Rhoda my phone number, a few hours later I received a call from her nurse colleague on my colleague's phone. Rhoda had looked up the medical file of my Italian volunteer colleague, who had attended the same clinic a couple of weeks previous, in order to find out his number and thus be able to ask me again what my number was. What persistence! I must say, I was flattered, but also quite amazed. Such a course of action would receive disciplinary measures, and may be even regarded as a fireable offence at home if a complaint was made.

As a white man living in Ghana, one is unlikely to receive as many proposals of marriage as our white female counterparts. Usually, women may even receive the bended knee treatment within a 5 minute conversation. Take last Thursday night near our workplace at Edwenase in Kumasi. While on the phone, sitting beside Dorota, a guy who we had only met once before, and very briefly, tried his best to gain my attention. Dorota intervened and took him some metres away so I could have some privacy. Within 5 more minutes another 3 guys had joined them. It's either a peculiar nosiness, genuine inquisitiveness or impossibility to resist the possibility of meeting an Obroni (white person, European), a potential partner, that compels many to win our attention or friendship.

I would be interested in hearing any other Obroni, Muzungu, Blanc or white persons accounts as to how many proposals they received in their travels. I never realised I was such viable marriage material before I cam here!

Things 'White people' shouldn't do in Africa

From previous experiences volunteering I have built up a bunch of informed notions about how an Obroni, Muzungu, Blanc (White person). Most of them are from overhearing local strnagers muttering discontent, local friends expressing concern or laughter, and my own innate feeling that such behaviour just does not fit.



1. Post photos like this on a blog entitled IrishinGhana - It's Gonzo journalism at it's worst and irrelevant at best. Send personal photos personally.

2. Walk around t-shirt less on a Sunday when everybody else is dressed to the nines. Indeed, walking around t-shirt less in public, whether you're male or female, is generally best avoided.

3. Appearing lazy, acting lazy, just plain being lazy. People admire hardworking folk here as they work long hours to make ends meet.

4. Taking photos with total disregard for people's privacy. Yes, it's terrible to see a beggar on the street. But when was the last time you took a photo of a beggar in your own home country?

5. Not washing your clothes regularly as soap and water without a machine just seems too much bother. Ghanaians are quite spotless and I would put my life savings on the fact that most people you meet throughout the continent are equally so. After living with a wide sample of them in Dublin for 2 years (35 or so from 15 different African countries). They may not have jacuzzis in every 3rd house, but then again, who would want to live in such a place. Dress in a dignified fashion, try not to come home drunk every night of the week or at all and generally behave in a manner befitting the area you are living in. If you want to be a party animal, go to a secluded holiday island and enjoy yourself.

TO BE CONTINUED