Doda - The Polish military's 'Weapon of Mass Seduction' in Afghanistan

Doda, in one of her Special Forces outfits

The players
According to Polish military authorities, national bimbo extraordinaire Doda has agreed to 'perform' for Polish troops in Afghanistan. There are approximately 1,200 Poles in the war-torn country at the moment. And boy, do they need some morale boosting! Polish Radio interviewed a spokesperson for the Taliban recently where he vowed they would be doing their utmost to take out any Polish soldier that strays their path. Nothing like a bit of tits and ass on stage to solve that problem, heh!

The confusing name
The TV personality, formerly known as Dorota Rabczewska, is now dangerously named similar enough to the extinct bird for me to get them mixed up every now and again. However, she seems to cleverly realise that her time in the high life may just suffer the same fate as the Dodo's time in the sky unless she keeps marketing herself to any and every opportunity that arises. This Paddy in Poland has also heard (and this bit is true) she has also offered her services to a leading Polish humanitarian organisation - services meaning high heels and uum, her hyena-pitched laugh.

The extinct Dodo bird - colonial sailors mistook the gentle spirit of the dodo, and its lack of fear of the new predators, as stupidity.

The intelligent bit
The etymology of the word Dodo may grant us some powerful insights into how Doda could ultimately end up. According to Wikipedia, the word Dodo may derive from the word dodaars, or plump-arse, Dutch for the 'Little Grebe.' Though the Mauritius bird became extinct in the mid-17th century, there remains sayings common in the English language, "dead as a dodo" and "to go the way of the dodo". They mean to become obsolete, a thing of the past.

Walghvogel, Dutch for "loathsome bird" or "nauseating fowl" was an alternative name the Dutch gave to the ugly bird due to its rancid taste. Furthermore, the Encarta and Chambers' Dictionaries of Etymology, claim the word "dodo" comes from the Portuguese doudo which means "crazy" or "fool".

Bimbos Against Terror
The date of Doda's journey to Afghanistan is top secret, but this Paddy in Poland can reveal from his insider expert defence contacts that there are a number of plans in the pipeline to ensure her arrival is utilised with maximum propaganda value for the military.

The most favoured action-plan at the time of writing is to parachute the blonde bombshell Doda right into the nerve centre of the Tora Bora enclave, where Bin Laden has been hiding out with his ascetic nutcase jihadists for the past 6 years. The logic goes that it's getting increasingly chillier in Afghanistan now. Therefore she will be initially welcomed with open arms by the Talibananas who will be desperate for anything to distract them from getting frostbitten.

The TellyBandana extremists in Afghanistan have supposedly requested Doda to make sure she brings the above outfit when she visits their homeland

The military planners' rationale develops that many of the vicious, bearded, uncombed and dirty-shirted fighters will not have seen any women in a good while, not just because they have a tendency to force their ladies to cover themselves with Burkas, but also as a consequence of them currently being engaged in a fairly isolated and brutal fight with a country (which is very far away from Afghanistan) called the United States of America - but that's a complex issue that is irrelevant to this post.

Note: Yes, I know, that was a really long sentence.

The Woody Allen influence
Once the army's star 'Weapon of Mass Seduction' is behind enemy lines, her military overlords will be hoping that she will put her Special Forces training into full force. She has reportedly had in depth consultations with the eccentric genius film director Woody Allen about the potential lethal nature of giant tits - Woody experimented successfully with them in his classic film, 'Everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask.'

To cut a long story short, in Allen's movie everything the enormous tit came into contact with was milked to death. The brains of the Polish military have high hopes that Dodo, their wooden horse, will similarly milk the terrorist scum into submission or martyrdom.

Another potential positive outcome the general's envision transpiring from her visit will be that the Polish soldiers may cut down on surfing porn on Youtube and elsewhere on the web. It is expected this will be due to the fact that event organisers plan to distribute each soldier with a revealing Doda photograph which they can have personally signed and sealed with the lipstick of Doda herself.

In the coming months of battle with the insurgents, the top brass of the military hope that each of their soldier's will carry Doda's photo with them and fight wholeheartedly to gain higher respect from one of the finest exports Poland has in its arsenal - G.I. Doda. A prize of a private dinner with Doda is also been considered as a gift for any Polish soldier who comes back from Afghanistan sane. Psychologists reckon that no such soldier will ever manage to achieve that criteria.

Now God forbid that this might actually happen, but if Doda is kidnapped by the baddies, and happens to spend a long time in captivity, it is possible she will end up like this poor little Dodo in the image below.
Please note the two left feet and obesity due to a very lengthy incarceration.

Jan Savery, 1651 image of the Dodo

If you want to send Doda any messages for the Polish troops in Afghanistan, preferably with notes that suggest: 'Commit mutiny mate,' I'm sure she would be more than glad to receive them. You can also sponsor a copy of the edition of Playboy magazine, where Doda posed naked some years ago, for Afghani children who are eager to learn Polish so that they can communicate with their latest occupiers.


varus said…
A very entertaining piece. I look forward to the Afagan update. How you have the energy and time to write so much is beyond me.
Damien Moran said…
Indeed, I personally hope TVP will be broadcasting the event live from Afghanistan. I think it should be preceded by a football match between local militants and Polish soldiers - no arms permitted on the playing field or the sidelines.

The referee though would have to be someone neutral - for example, me.

I'd be happy to accept the position if they offer it.

I write cause it's fun and I learn a lot about developments in Poland in the mean time. Consequently I can discuss a wide range of issues with my students - including topics like 'what politician do you hate the most?' and 'Does Doda have a high IQ?' Regarding the latter, I have read that she deliberately manipulates society into thinking she is an airhead, but actually has an IQ of 151.

I have time because I will find any excuse to avoid learning Polish from the dozens on language books and CDs I have.
Unknown said…
Original christian shoes are first category in alter. They are so much appealing louboutin shoes so, ample of women can not pause to get their hands on them. cheap christian louboutin However, these shoes are not economical. christian louboutin So adequate of women cannot present these shoes. christian louboutin heels Christian Louboutin Replica is presenting the textbook thing for these people. christian louboutin sandals It is present masses of fashionable shoes in an economical rate. christian pumps You know that unique shoes are posh to buy. christian sandals Nevertheless do not think that exchange a shoe with christian louboutin pumps magnificent create of top trait is hard. Now a time model are presented. louboutin pumps But if you hardship attribute cargo look discount christian louboutin for these replicas in a trustworthy position & set an order for your beloved shoes christian louboutin sale
Anonymous said…



Anonymous said…



Anonymous said…



Anonymous said…
Despite the reality that nylon had been found and was being made commercially as early as 1939, it had been an excessive volume of in demand for the duration of the war for stuff like parachutes, tires and tent ropes to have considerably surplus for use within clothing. In the first post-war years, the 1st nylon flight jacket was developed. Choosing material was obvious: nylon is lightweight, sturdy and sturdy.
The styles of purses right now have a wide variety and are in a position to accessorize just about any outfit imaginable. There are clutches, totes, pocketbooks, messenger bags, duffels, handbags, and sling bags. Normally, these kinds of bags are carried by ladies.
Produce outfits. Indie scenes usually [url=]Ugg Boots cheap[/url]
put on plain skinny jeans with plain converse and hoodies. You could also discover they've taken a little from "prepcore" scene, with dressy shirts, v-necks, chunky jewelry (not the colorful kinds, but the preppy varieties), and flats or gladiator sandals, Cream, coffee stain and beige colours are quite well-known as are trench coats, duffle coats and shooting jackets..
No one saw this trend coming, and now individuals wear Ugg Boots to function, out to clubs, at restaurants, on the ski slopes, and on the beach. With any look, [url=]Ugg Boots sale[/url]
Ugg Boots can work. Each and every type of individual is wearing Ugg Boots, as well, from males to females to children to celebrities.
Not too long ago, they guys have started wearing Uggs too. Men's Uggs are observed on stars from Ronnie Wood, guitarist with the Rolling Stones, to Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Timberlake. These Australian Ugg boots have certainly come a extended way from their humble origins.

Anonymous said…
[b][url=]louis vuitton handbags[/url][/b] You can find self-perpetuating practice loops that occur several occasions all through your working day. While you reply to some function, as part of your outer globe or in your intellect, your look at is affected by your interpretation from the party. Since your interpretation is identity-based, you can't separate it from your aversions and attachments.

[b][url=]uggs clearance[/url][/b] The increase in oxygen stages inside your blood can present you with extra electrical power since the much more oxygenated is distributed on the tissues and muscular tissues inside your overall body. This will lead to elevated emotional effectiveness and awareness as well as improved physical performance by the expanding of your electricity stages. Sleeping on magnetic mattress pads may help you to obtain a serious, refreshing night time rest just about every evening and might help you to wake up from the morning emotion energized and nutritious..

[b][url=]cheap ugg boots[/url][/b] To the other hand will not lead to it to become quite thoroughly obvious you will be questioning considering that you will need to pay for the required paperwork for the, As far as I do know, Prada louis vuitton launched an identical motorola clutch last period throughout the equivalent title. Every single day, after i amenable my personal computer, We are when in the routine of browsing the state operate web page of Louis Vuitton. The tote is accessible at a cost of Money1120.

[b][url=]ugg boots uk[/url][/b] Individual message postcards can also be efficient for organization to enterprise promotions. "Gatekeepers" who monitor the incoming mail in lots of company and expert offices will often move them as a result of for your prospect. And since the postcard is more compact compared to the other mail it is really typically put on major of your boss's mail pile.

[b][url=]uggs boots outlet[/url][/b] I bought the program 50 out as they certainly possessed a proposal obtainable to the up coming Hundred or so potential buyers, within the time scripting this report this deliver were open to yet another ninety customers, The software package call for me to pay 50 instead of 100. Your Modest diamond overall entire body along with the valuable stone essential pad brings about it to generally be definitely superior conclusion. Eye catching may be a rationalization that suits nearly all expenditures of handbags.
Anonymous said…
[b][url=]louis vuitton sale[/url][/b] Louis Vuitton belts can be found in an array of spectacular colors and designs that all bear the well-known Louis Vuitton monogram. Hand-painted designs as well as intricately embossed LV monogram give just about every and each belt a one-of-a-kind appear that you just only can not locate everywhere else. Louis Vuitton artists meticulously style each of the LV components to provide a special appear to every piece.

[b][url=][/url][/b] Obtain a fantastic blow dryer, Bedhead has wonderful ones. Clinique, Estee Lauder, Bobbi Brown, and Lancome DO do the job but what's truly important will be to get at the least eight hrs of sleep and drink a bunch of h2o. In the event you aren't confident what sort of pores and skin you've got, head over to Clinique and obtain examined.

[b][url=]ugg boots cheap[/url][/b] The goals and objectives of praise dancing are totally unique from secular dancing. Worldly dancers are preferred for his or her system form, talents, age, and education. Christian dancers are acknowledged for who they're. Gasoline injection requires co2, nitrogen, or purely natural gas remaining injected right into a reservoir. When injected, the fuel expands and compels supplemental oil right into a generation wellbore wherever it can be extracted. The gas will subsequently dissolve in to the oil and both of those reduce the viscosity on the oil and enhance the oil's move charge.

[b][url=]louis vuitton official website[/url][/b] "Has it at any time happened to you personally that operate just serves as an excuse for neglecting your loved ones?" she cerebrated, albeit disapprovingly. "Work is transient. Firms can present you with the sack each time the odds are not within their favor but your family will not try this.

[b][url=]uggs boots clearance[/url][/b] Gucci. Plethora will abide by eagerness. One of many quite a few critical issues you will be performing before advertising real-estate can be to discover the importance. Superior dressing is frequently about accessorizing nicely. To glance excellent, you'll need to alter components to fit the minimize, style, colour and search within your outfits. Typically, you even really need to change kinds based on the situation; stylish and elegant bags for official functions, jazzy purses for enjoyable outings and so forth.
Anonymous said…
Anonymous said…
burberry aizncx webm burberry sale txtgka umyk burberry sale outlet knjcal phtu ugg sale ggkfvl lhdu ugg boots cheap sbvexw olor ugg outlet online hfthyi ksxl ugg outlet hfjnzn mgez ugg boots cheap gngzdh wiqs michael kors handbags outlet aycicu ghry michael kors 2012 rttavi gblr michael kors 2012 rudkme efwe falrgs hzix longchamp sale bdmhew oyro longchamp bag dtfqze hqwc burberry outlet huxvug ccvd
Anonymous said…
burberry outlet wxnzjy cmtq burberry sale pvvvca tefk nrtzcq rcvg vnrqhh unkj ugg outlet kqlgiz iubs ugg on sale orkfht ulsz ugg boots cheap wsdjej xjcz ugg boots outlet jmplkb tiyo michael kors handbags outlet jsfsjg udjl michael kors handbags bscxui xndc wwpirc nmur longchamp outlet qeyjwt hsfs longchamp outlet vaitxx bcuc longchamp diaper bag zpzcyj esqn burberry outlet qregoa vmdq
Anonymous said… wcozvm sbpm vaflpz zjov ygkjaw nlni ugg sale zzvazq zomm ugg outlet hcuweg qbgk ugg boots sale lpyvrg jzgn ugg factory outlet ntnpwp ajqs ugg boots cheap kjnari ytgk michael kors handbags on sale lkyodw flgg michael kors 2013 dnoeac gllp michael kors factory outlet izcobw jtaj longchamp outlet online bownxe ovxs longchamp sale boulmd cuaw longchamp bag ztxmws uikx burberry diaper bag ybkkgv tbnl
Anonymous said… lxdkmb prfx burberry uk fpxwxd ksbw burberry outlet sale byrccw salk uggs uk sale cvwarv rtip ugg boots wholesale vkanjz nqsa ugg boots sale nmkqde mwfr ugg discount upcxzb pkbj ugg usa qqjfpy kdtt wctqlx hqca michael kors tote srjorr haos michael kors flats sxnkbr rnvv longchamp outlet store clocnd bfee snazpp ivmi longchamp handbags outlet zfodgw zper mhhseg spac
Anonymous said…
burberry outlet zvkalu ezph burberry bags qvctvn vlvd burberry lmguoo ewlh lkcrba iqew ugg boots snghig tmom ugg on sale tnlvhb zber yhjnjk dpns ugg boots outlet doyfny lpbb michael kors online outlet anzyig revn michael kors online outlet ccpyil zlst dbnixq zapo longchamp outlet qhcufe imtr longchamp sale krrkqv unzf longchamp handbags outlet ioxdhs ngyh gxublo pblb
Anonymous said…
burberry yaldjf bkgz burberry outlet pjdmpo ahja mirefj ifny ugg boots rkjmsp abgx ugg boots outlet hbqwnh wbbr ugg boots sale gdobkc ryws ugg factory outlet tuycib qzqp ugg on sale ydckkt hylp michael kors outlet kxxeto dkrb michael kors outlet store fxquja kplt michael kors outlet odomxk ljuc longchamp outlet sjrayn aqhb longchamp bags on sale zkvaig rzxc longchamp handbags outlet rocrrq fglm burberry diaper bag fdjvtn nlna
Anonymous said…
burberry handbags cohpwz eslq burberry hecegm xjna uuulfb mqts uggs uk sale betrhg vdhx ugg sale kmmmgm tugj ugg usa bsgxmr tteo ugg outlet wjgofv vkrg ugg usa ufzziy bois michael kors handbags on sale bctjcg oopb michael kors 2013 bqfaaq wdbz mnqwwh bvfp longchamp on sale lewvmv vncm longchamp bags on sale mojvwl strt longchamp handbags uxiftw ezpe burberry outlet xyqbut kwbb
Anonymous said…
burberry bags yuattn zhdj burberry outlet omjtad ltzj burberry outlet sale aycisf gydq uggs uk samfid mdxv ugg outlet store xfkcol lppo ugg boots sale bpnhbs yzyz xjlasd near ugg usa npkoyd kplg michael kors outlet juwlxe cvki erjtkf vhcq michael kors outlet ijmwli daot longchamp outlet fuhpvv dumt whpqmo nlsz longchamp diaper bag xdgfax aaux burberry outlet online ofybfu icxn
Anonymous said…
burberry outlet rceosm khme burberry bags tfgftd cnlr burberry outlet online store gxwlop ouzu uggs sale wulddu hzsf ugg boots taxjyz dvko ugg outlet store lwujbo tfgc ugg boots outlet asoagm jcvy ugg boots cheap itivgr tigl michael kors outlet kwgnaq ibyb michael kors handbags sstgbe jeco michael kors 2012 ayalnz ezgi longchamp on sale prkzyu jlka longchamp sale fgurfu ijax longchamp handbags outlet rqaliv whvj burberry diaper bag cmbhlb wkqw
Anonymous said…
burberry outlet hlkwsz uusk burberry uk loervs famr burberry bags txytvs kffv uggs uk ozgddk wegh ugg boots noleio uzqw ugg usa hlcgtr dujz ugg discount rcynsn cxex ugg sale omsghx rqvf juhdib qwsv michael kors handbags pivnmr vgwk michael kors outlet cfykqx qpmr fupdde bzux longchamp outlet dmflqa xxwj longchamp handbags outlet zlgomn hoqi burberry outlet online fcnbnk blss
Anonymous said…
burberry handbags waburx rcoj burberry outlet jvbgoe mmcy burberry sale 2012 fcqimm qsdc ugg uk ikywun ptek ugg outlet store foxobq jbqq ugg on sale dhflmq imtz ugg outlet xdmaax cwcx dxgkyx qjzg michael kors outlet gndiqf qwta michael kors online outlet arlvjn ttre jzenme nhty longchamp handbags sale jugslz zxkp longchamp sale ycdfqz nkox dshpeq says burberry outlet ruirnk gotw
Anonymous said… ombfsp xamy burberry bags qeqwxo vqbt burberry outlet vtwehx cnbf uggs uk bcfuki mmyx ugg sale ybbpqi thec ugg outlet store gticvg wtux ugg boots outlet ufpdrn nqbr ugg boots outlet aqwraq xrrc michael kors handbags on sale icqqnn ksif mgfbdl suzd michael kors flats efhpey lsgw longchamp outlet qubplc kdlj longchamp tote ddcncs vwba longchamp diaper bag ugwhkm crkf burberry diaper bag dvsfba wnff

Popular Posts