Polish pilgrim on 3,000km trek across Europe

A Czech pilgrim somewhere, on pilgrim, who may, or most probably, may not, look anything like the Polish pilgrim you are about to read about

Last week was a monumental pain in the hole. So after my deportation from the US, for being a political undesirable, I have been giving my eyes a little break from the computer screen.

It is a little worrying when one's eyes turn tomato-red from over-zealous cyber-tasking!

Heed my advice - if the whites of your eyeballs are also sunk in your head, probably due to your insatiable need to keep abreast of all the latest developments, both domestically and abroad, it's high-time you got a life and re-entered the natural world where 'fresh-air in a can' isn't the latest pop-up ad that assails your screen.

And what better way to be brought back to earth than by the following story.

I recently found out that one Polish man is making the best of what nature has to offer, by partaking in a 3,000km pilgrimage across Europe.

But of course some odd-ball motorists near Coburg, Germany thought the guy was a crackpot when they saw him dragging a load of gear (not the narcotic type) with a rod attached to his back.

Instead of offering the guy a bleeding lift (though he would have surely refused) some gobshite decided to call the cops on him.

According to RTE, the pigs (ok, RTE wrote cops, not pigs!) who turned up discovered he was

"a devout Roman Catholic Pole on his way home from a European pilgrimage that had taken him as far as Portugal."

Let's imagine the dialogue and add some flavourings (not taking into consideration the obvious linguistic barriers):

Cop 1 - Hold up there sir. What is your business on this busy motorway? We think you are posing a safety hazard.

Pilgrim - (Takes out headphones where from blares Ave Maria) Is there a problem lads?

Cop 2 (the more ignorant one) - Well, we'd just like to find out who da fuck you are and check whether you know there's a bleedin trailer hangin outta ur back!

Pilgrim - Of course I know. What da hell da ya take me for, some nut or whah?

Cop 1- Well, you know, we just got a call from some concerned motorists and we had to check everything was ok. Where are you coming from?

Pilgrim - Our Lady of Fatima's shrine (Portugal).

Cops consult to check whether that is in their district or not

Cop 1 - And do you mind telling us where is your intended destination?

Pilgrim - Our Lady of Czestochowa's shrine (Poland).

Cop 2 - And why didn't you just take a bus?

Pilgrim - Well, environmental destruction is now regarded by some as a mortal sin and I, a pilgrim, would rather counter the mania that we see on this highway where people travel in walls of steel on 4 ribbed wheels and listen to crap pop music. They stumble, those who go in haste.

Cop 2 - Oh, I see. Well, I guess you best be on your way then (mumbles) ya loon (lunatic).

Pilgrim - Sound, but can ya do something about all them motorists beeping their horns at me. It's disturbing me prayers!

Cop 1 - (Eyes ascending to the heavens)Ah, grand so, we'll see what we can do. By the way, are your papers in order?

Pilgrim - God Bless Schengen officer, sure I'm Polish and no longer need that shite (my poetic licence)!

Cop 1 - True enough. Ok, good luck and more power to you.

Cop 2 - Take care with the traffic, we wouldn't want ya to get mowed down and have to bring your entrails the whole way to Poland.

Pilgrim - Well, they'd better watch out. I've got myself a bucket of medals from Fatima in me cart whereas they've only got air freshener hanging from their mirrors!

RTE further report that inside the pilgrim's trailer was

a converted roof luggage box, which also served as a bivouac, where the 35-year-old was carrying all he needed for the journey.

Be there any confusion from my rather derogatory dialogue, I'd like to stress I really do love pilgrims. The above was just a tongue-in-cheek attempt imagining what their interaction may have been like. It is completely fictional, and therefore I would advise you, that in the event you too are planning an epic 3,000 km journey for whatever reason, then the above interaction with a cop would most likely turn out adversely for you.


There is an element(to understate) of lunacy to pilgrims which I am fascinated by, and I admire greatly their passion and inner-drive.

So whoever that 35 year old Polish pilgrim is, I wish him safe travel and much respect.