Obama Barack...A red-haired, freckled spud-lover!

It was bound to come sooner or later. It always does. We just can't help ourselves, can we! And it always seems to come from the most unlikely of places. But then again, we do in fact have a good track record of being related to U.S. presidents.

The faithful flock who adorn the local Church of Ireland of Moneygall in Ireland each Sunday may not be able to articulate Barack Obama's name, but they know 2 basic facts: he's black, and that he may be the next leader of the the U.S.A. whilst representing the Democratic party.

The news of Obama's possible ancestry transpired with the dusting off of some antique ledgers found in a parishioner’s basement. The local Rector, Stephen Neill, thinks he has traced Obama's Irish roots to "a great, great, great, great grandfather named Joseph Kearney, a local shoemaker whose shop once stood on a field now conveniently vacant."

“We’ve got records going back to 1799,” Neill says. “It may well be that this may become a major tourist attraction depending on the results of the presidential election next year. So watch this space.”

Will it be a case of secret service agents smashing the pint glass from which Obama sups his Guinness, in a replication of the infamous occurrence all them many years ago, in 1984 (when I was more interested in toys than demonstrating) during Ronald Reagan's visit to his people's origins in Ballyporeen, County Tipperary.

Local farmer John Healy has already determined that if Obama's related to the Kearney's, "then he's part of the candidate's family too — a few times removed."

"I don't know how many greats would be in it, but ... a good few greats in it because it goes back to 1760,” Healy says.

So will Obama pass the litmus test and embrace his Irishness, or will he sell out like Reagan did, emphasising his WASP heritage, by prioritising his closeness to other significant sectors of the U.S. public?

And more importantly, can he stomach 7 rooster potatoes at 12.30pm with a good dollop of turnip, gravy and lump of beef on the side? Or can he deal with the almighty sessions that, in stereotypical situations, prove the Paddiness within you?
How will he fare at kicking a Gaelic football 40 yards away from the goalposts, or striking a sliothair with his 38 inch piece of ash? Will he be able for the complex meanderings involved in the siege of Ennis dance? Time will tell!

Obama, once you don't turn out to be an ass like Ronnie boy or the still mythically loved pseudo-humanitarian JFK, then you are sure to fare better than the Bushling. Commendations on your anti-war bill, whereby you proposed the withdrawal commencement date of May 1st of this year. But then again, the Democrats are a fairly pathetic bunch in general, so you ain't getting spuds from my plate, a chara.