Ducking Polish Kaczynskiism with satire
Incumbent Prime Minister of Poland, Jaroslaw 'Daffy Duck' Kaczynski
Laughter has the potential to cure many ailments, and for Polish people it is a key a remedy to deal with the potential prospect of 4 more years under the conservative authoritarian Kaczynski twins, Donald and Daffy......uhh, err, aah, sorry about that slip, I mean Lech (Donald) and Jaroslaw (Daffy). You see, such humorous errors have even creeped into the writings of bright people like myself.
President of Poland, Lech 'Donald Duck' Kaczynski
Note: For those not acquainted with the Prime Minister and President's surname, Kaczynski, it is similar to the word 'kaczka' in Polish, meaning 'duck'. Hence, many ironists use the imagery of fowl to pull the feathers out of the twins for their various leadership gaffes and quacks.
Now, back to the topic.
Humour and the Kaczynski twins
A recent Associated Press article coins a joke about Poland:
In World War II, the Polish government fled to London and the Polish people were at home. In 2007, the Kaczynski twins are home and the Polish people have fled to London.
Former President and Nobel Peace laureate Lech Walesa's initial big rift with them came in the early 90's after he allegedly joked with Daffy and Donald about a story of two brothers who come to a party - one with his wife and the other with his 'husband'. Uh oh, major faux-pas!
Daffy got a little pissed off with the former electrician and trade union leader Walesa for fun-lovingly joking about the possibility of him being gay - which is highly unlikely. You see, Daffy just doesn't like homos. Nor does Donald. But then again, either did former christian fundamentalist preacher Ted Haggard who fell from grace last year when his liaisons with a male prostitute were exposed.
In the eyes of such conservatives, gays are deemed abominable perverts infested with Satan's.........ok, let's not go down that road! Anyhow, such a viewpoint is of course very odd and plain prejudicial, but God help them be a little more tolerant and less ignorant.
At the Equality Parade 2 years ago I saw someone with a sign: 'The Ideal Family - Jarolslaw (Daffy) and his cat' - a clever little demonstrator was pulling the piss out of the fact that 'the family is the core of society' Prime Minister is a bachelor and lives with his mum and cat. Not that there is anything wrong living with cats or mums - I love both.
One funny joke about the twins going around plays on their low height:
"What do the Kaczynskis do on a tennis court? They play volleyball."
Not that I or many of you have anything against short people.....but it's still quite funny, isn't it. Oh, you're a bit slow and don't get it - ok, so have a look at a photo of the twins and then you'll figure it out
Regarding the German versus Poland battle of voting rights in the E.U., Daffy said:
“I would like to clearly state that we are as serious as we can be about the square root proposal. We are ready to die for that, despite contrary information in the press.”
Hahahaha.........imagine, dying over the √ symbol. What a nerd!
God: 'Now tell me son, why you have come to the gates of heaven so prematurely?'
Daffy (sobbing): 'I had...a...fi..fight..wi..wi..with someone o..o..over the square root sy...sy..system in the E.U.?'
God: 'Hahahahahaha.....what a joke........go downstairs, you crybaby!'
Don't duck from the facts
I am in a firm believer in the wise maxim, 'know thine enemy.' So with this in mind, and in fear that the Kaczynskis are not going to leave government after tomorrow's elections, let's end this post with a few important facts about ducks:
1. Brought up on their own, they think they are a member of the flock in their immediate environment - dog, chicken, human (maybe even a gay one).
2. Geese and swans are their cousins. Ducks being the smallest, have shorter necks and wings and a fairly stout body(no fucking kiddin, heh).
3. They have waterproof feathers. Amazing huh, imagine, it's a bit like us having waterproof skin! Imagine the amount of money you'd save on cosmetics.
Oil, created near the tail, covers their coat of feathers and under this a layer of fluffy and soft feathers maintain the duck's warmth. This is evidently a massive advantage over their enemies who get colds, flus, and feel debilitated after it has been pissing rain and snowing for a few days.
4. Ducks used to be wild creatures, but a few hundred years ago a little known race of people - who like working their asses off to make clothes, toys and electrical goods for richer people living far far away from their magical, mysterious habitat - domesticated them.
Those who tamed the ducks are called....Chinese. Rumour has it that they also like building motorways in Poland for shite wages so that the rich people wearing clothes made by the labourers' cousins in China can travel and support a small bunch of very rich people (who wouldn't be seen dead wearing cheap Chinese clothes) play in a sports competition which China can't even enter - it's called Euro 2012.
5. And last but not least, news to make you cry and jump in the Wistula so you can be eaten by mutant fish. Ducks can live from 2-12 years of age, depending on their species!!! Which means I could be 37 by the time Daffy and Donald are forced to retire from power. Doesn't bear thinking really.
Be prepared, we may not have seen the back of Law and Justice governance yet.